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Cancer and Positive Thinking
Bob Riter
bob@ibca.net
When you’re diagnosed with cancer, more than one person will feel compelled
to say, “You gotta stay positive!”
There have been times that I’ve nodded enthusiastically to this comment and times that I’ve discreetly rolled my eyes.
There’s a mythology surrounding positive thinking and cancer. It comes in two flavors: one is that positive people are less likely to get cancer. The other is that a positive attitude is needed to survive cancer once you have it. Neither is true.
What’s especially harmful is blaming people for not being positive enough. “If Sam had only been more positive about defeating his cancer, he’d be alive today.” It’s rarely that blatant, of course. More often, it’s expressed, “I’ve urged Mom to go to a support group, but she doesn’t want to. Can you help me twist her arm?”
No. Mom can make her own choices. Telling someone to have a positive
attitude is like telling someone to be tall. And even the sunniest of personalities
will have down days when dealing with cancer.
Don’t get me wrong – I’m all in favor of having a positive
attitude. It probably improves your quality of life and certainly makes you
more pleasant to be with. But there’s no evidence that it’s going
to help you survive cancer.
I was having dinner with a friend a few days ago and I shared this with her.
She said, “I don’t care what the evidence says. I think it does.”
And she returned to her soup.
What struck me was that she really and truly did not care. The evidence was
completely immaterial.
Cancer is no different than every other aspect of life. We need to face it in
our own way and on our own terms.
Please don’t tell me to be positive. But support me like hell if I am.
From the Ithaca Journal, January 24, 2008
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